It Is Written

I can't say it's pretty. It's far from perfect. But my synopsis is written. And it's not quite as bad as my first drone-on-forever-about-unnecessary-details draft. I am encouraged by that.

When I am an old and wise published author, I shall compose many blog posts (or whatever futuristic web diary they've invented by that time) on how to write the synopsis. I will write a specific breakdown on every sentence, paragraph, formatting requirement, word count, and page length. Such "how to's" are impossible to locate these days, even with the most expensive GPS.

And so, uneducated, I have put forth my best effort, in hope that the product resembles a synopsis in some way, shape or form.

AGENT UPDATE: Synopsis complete. Query letter complete. Top Ten Agents located. Once I perfect my synopsis and touch up my novel's first fifty pages, we'll be set for launch.

Creative Writing

Alone in my office, I stare at my computer screen. It stares blankly back. My netbook slumbers at my right elbow and numerous sheets of severely abused paper cringe on the desk.

I don't understand how penning a two-hundred page novel can be easier than writing a three-page synopsis ABOUT the aforementioned two-hundred page novel. I scoured the Internet for some small nugget of advice that could inspire me to write an award-winning synopsis. I only came up with these generic tips: 1) Cover only main plot points and characters, 2) Include the end of the book, and 3) Don't be a bore. Gee, thanks!

But, then, it struck me. And it hurt.

Writing is my passion and my joy, I reminded myself. I've turned writing my synopsis into dreary, unsavory (how I hate to say the word!) work. I've been slogging instead of soaring.

And I need to change my mind about it.

It isn't another dull homework assignment. It's creative writing. I can put my own signature twist on it. In high school, my drama teacher gave me creative writing assignments - one of which was to write a piece of advice. Instead of slopping out a paragraph of "do's" and "don'ts", I turned it into Advice Annie's advice column, featuring Failure Fred. And I thoroughly enjoyed writing it.

Writing is about thinking outside the box and bending the rules as far as they'll go. To use Adam Young's words, "I don't use a pen. I write with a goose quill dipped in venom." I can infuse this currently bland synopsis with life and energy and originality. I want to make it mind-blowing.

Ready, set, go!

Synopses

I do not like them, Sam I Am.

I would not like them here or there.

I would not like them anywhere.

Synopses, I mean. Not green eggs and ham. (On a side note, I'm actually a big fan of green eggs and ham).

Query letters are a stroll through the park in comparison to the synopsis (which is a long dive off a cliff). I don't know if that's a well-crafted analogy, but I'm sure you see my point. Stop staring!

My current synopsis is hideous. I went through my novel, chapter by chapter and wrote down, in one or two sentences, a synopsis of each chapter. Basically, all the important parts. Then, I typed it up into a mish-mash five-page paper... Boring.

My trouble is trimming it down. I feel like every sentence is important and necessary. It's hard to step back, take an objective view on it, and figure out what's really important. And what really isn't. I suppose I could leave out the (not so important) invisibility cape, as long as I leave in the evil villain's magic powers...

But then, one part of me says, "But I like the invisibility cape. I want people to know about it."

While the other part of me argues back, "They'll know about it when they actually read the book, silly."

Yes, I call myself names. No, I'm not schizophrenic.